STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
