similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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