my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I believe in your delicious
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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