i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
