I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
