even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
