Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
