I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
