did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
