I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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