im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
