So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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