In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
