Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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