Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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