well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
