i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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