I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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