U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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