I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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