Having a random hookup so left but love u
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
