Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's the barista slut.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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