We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
