His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
