I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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