This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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