Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
