I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
