Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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