maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize