Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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