Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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