It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
