You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
