She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
