I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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