Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
