Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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