I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
