Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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