we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
