Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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