Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
my poor anus
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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