She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
