i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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