i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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