Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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