Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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