How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
birth control should be required to get into college
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
