Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
