A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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