every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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